Cancer was my lemon. Making a difference is my lemonade.

Just sixteen-years-old. President of my Class at Northside High in Columbus, GA. 4.0 GPA. Popular and well-liked. Drumline Captain in the marching band. #1 player on the golf team. Worship leader at St. Luke United Methodist Church. Leader of a local band, Turning Point. A perfect picture of health. This described me, Carson Hand, in March of my sophomore year. Life was great in my eyes and I was loving every minute of it. Little did I know what was in store for me.

Throughout the next several months I began experiencing nagging aches in my shoulder and side. As golf season continued, I assumed all this was the result of a pulled muscle caused from golf. Eventually it became obvious that this was more than a pulled muscle. The problem was misdiagnosed as pneumonia and then pleurisy before doctors finally discovered the massive 9 ½-pound tumor in my liver that was causing all the pain. After removing the thought-to-be benign tumor and ⅔ of my liver at Egleston Children’s Hospital in Atlanta, doctors identified the tumor as a Stage-4 extremely rare Undifferentiated Sarcoma of the liver…not benign, but malignant.

When I finally got out of ICU a few days after the surgery and my parents and doctors explained that the tumor was malignant, I was shocked. I certainly had been aware of cancer throughout my life, having grandparents experience it; but I figured that if I ever had to deal with cancer, it wouldn’t be until I was much older. This was when I met Dr. K., a nationally-recognized liver oncologist , at AFLAC Pediatric Cancer Center at Egleston. He explained to me that all evidence of cancer was gone; but just to be sure, I would go through several chemotherapy treatments.

Throughout the next week I recovered well and many things kept me in good spirits. Family and friends visited and called, helping to pass the time recuperating. Get-well cards and gifts flooded the room, adding excitement to each day. My CarePage at www.carepages.com kept people updated on my progress and also allowed anyone to send messages of encouragement. My surgeons Dr. G. and Dr. W. joked with me about my “Mercedes” scar left by the surgery, saying that getting a “Mercedes” scar meant that my parents had to buy me a Mercedes car (needless to say I never got that). A visit from the Northside Cheerleading Team boosted spirits in more ways than one! Even a special visit from Rascal Flatts lead singer Gary LeVox helped the time pass.

Before I was released from the hospital, Dr. K. explained to me the chemotherapy treatment schedule I would follow and how it would make me feel. The treatments were nine 3-week cycles: the first week of the cycle I would stay in-patient at Egleston and receive different medications for 5 days, the second and third weeks I would be in Columbus, having minor treatments, blood tests, and transfusions as needed. He said I would feel sick the first week while receiving heavy treatments; the second week I would probably be very tired and stay in bed most of the time; and the third week I would feel semi-normal, probably being able to attend school. This would continue for 6 months.

As soon as I heard this I wishfully told Dr. K. that the chemo schedule wouldn’t fit in with my busy schedule… he said I better find somewhere for it, because treatment was coming and it was top priority. I eventually resolved to taking a positive approach to the situation because he said that sometimes attitude affected the response of patients…AND IT WORKED! As the 3-week cycles began most of my pre-conceived expectations were proved wrong. The weeklong stays at Egleston were rough. I felt sick most of the week—not eating and somehow becoming tired of sleeping (which I never thought possible!); but I was able to attend hospital school, earning credit for being at Northside in Columbus. As soon as I left the hospital, though, I was back to full-force normal Carson until I returned three weeks later. We would rush home from the hospital on Friday afternoons, stop at to get food (after not eating for a week!), and arrive back in Columbus in time for me to lead the drumline at the Northside football game. When I was home I never missed a day of school or any of my normal activities because I felt bad, which again was contrary to what I had expected.

Looking back on my experience with cancer, there were several things that helped me get through it. I speak to many groups concerning this. First of all, my faith in God brought me peace and comfort in the midst of extreme tragedy. When everything initially happened I was at peace because I knew God was with me and that He had a plan. Secondly, support from my family, friends, and doctors provided immeasurable encouragement. Support flooded my life also from my school family, church family, the CarePage family, and many people I didn’t even know. In Andy Andrews’s book, The Traveler’s Gift, he says that when tempted to ask the question “Why me?” we should immediately counter with “Why not me?” When I heard this early in my treatment, I adopted it as a maxim to live by. When faced with challenges it is easy to ask “Why me?”, but challenges are opportunities to make a difference and have a positive impact on others. Using this maxim I found that in the end there was far more good that came out of my experience with cancer than bad. It has motivated me to face challenges head-on and with a positive mindset. Finally, attitude was the culmination of faith, support, and personal motivation to push through my illness with a positive outlook. Having a positive attitude helped me live as normal a life as I could given my situation, and it continues helping me every day to live life to the fullest.

As I began this journey with cancer I was inspired to write a song that captures the true lesson I carried away from this experience—a lesson that we should all live by every day—to make the best of every opportunity, “and live each day like it’s your last.”:

I am 26-years-old now, I will be 9 –years cancer free in December 2015.  Here is my song:

 Your Last

By: Carson Hand                                              

I watch the world blow by,                                                                 

It hurts so deep in me.

So many people on the wrong path,

God help me help them see.

You never know when God will take you,

You never know when it’s your last chance.

So make the best of what you’re given,

And live each day like it’s your last.

I’ll go and lead my life,

Oh God please be with me.

And I’ll try to make the best,

Of every opportunity.

And one day, when I die,

I’ll stand in front of those pearly gates.

And I’ll ask God if I did His will,

To show others that He is great.

You never know when God will take you,

You never know when it’s your last chance.

So make the best of what you’re given,

And live each day like it’s your last.