Breast cancer was my lemon.  Writing a book to help parent’s navigate the cancer journey with their kids is my lemonade.

My motto: Live your life by helping others.

I received a rotten bag of lemons but through that adversity and dealing with breast cancer, I realized everyone can make lemonade.  It’s what you do with it that allows you to live your life by helping others. Hence, I self-published a children’s book.

Being diagnosed with breast cancer, having a bi-lateral mastectomy, dealing with the emotional trauma of telling my kids I had cancer to facing the psychological scars of survivor’s guilt was the bag of lemons handed to me in 2010. But when it comes to breast cancer I’m not alone as 1 in 8 women will receive their own breast cancer diagnosis.

Sadly, every year many women and men will lose their life to this horrible disease leaving family and friends to wonder why it was their loved one. Without a doubt being diagnosed with breast cancer can suck the juice out of you! If you let it cancer will invade your identity and continue to leave a bad taste in your mouth only to make you feel subpar, unworthy, and without a purpose. Every day I give thanks to the many blessings I received and that being cancer-free is and of itself my lemonade.

Today, I know that while making lemonade out of a bag of lemons is important, understanding the process, learning from the trials, and sharing the juice with others is what allows you to fulfill your purpose in life.

Every day we are dealt unexpected problems that force us to deal with them. How we respond is the only thing we really can control. It’s easy to say, “Attack each problem with a positive attitude” but when the problem is Breast Cancer and death is knocking at your door your sense of control quickly vanishes.

Hearing the words “You have Breast Cancer” literally takes your breath away as you immediately see your life flash before your eyes. All I could think about was leaving my kids without a mother and husband without a wife. It felt like my entire body was paralyzed as I could not move, think or respond to my surroundings.

But I refused to remain silent and allow Cancer to define who I am. Yes, I received a rotten bag of lemons, but it was my faith that allowed me to dig deep and find my positive attitude.  That is what helped me to use all the tools, resources, support, prayers to deal with adversity head on!

In the beginning everyone around me lifted my spirits with positivity almost fooling me to believe I could do this with little energy. But BREAST CANCER is relentless and will sneak in to rob you of your daily blessing if you let it. It was then that I realized it was my positive attitude that helped me and others; leaving them with a desire for more. On the surface, it was a desire for lemonade but the overflow of blessings and sweetness that came from the success of adversity is what drove me to live my life by helping others.

Sadly, before I was diagnosed with breast cancer I knew very little about the disease, other than it affected the breast. One of your immediate reactions is to “google” breast cancer and learn as much as possible about the disease only to become frustrated and overwhelmed! I instantly felt I needed to be an expert about breast cancer and all the other scary relatives such as mastectomy, reconstructive surgery, chemo, radiation, just to name a few.

If that was not enough I was also forced to research how to tell my kids I had cancer. I found some helpful tips but nothing can fully prepare you to tell your kids you have CANCER! I searched for the perfect words and realized none exist. There’s simply not a cookie cutter approach because all family dynamics are different.

I’m supposed to tell my 3-year-old daughter, and my 9-year-old son, “Mommy has breast cancer but everything is going to be okay”? How do I reassure them when I have doubts myself? Telling my kids I had breast cancer was incredibly painful. But watching their eyes fill with tears as my son asked me to “promise I was not going to die” was unbearable!

My daughter Alyssa put things into perspective when one day she asked, “Mommy R Your Boobies Broken”? Out loud I responded, yes my Boobies are broken but they will be fixed. I remember the smile on her face and the giggle she had after she asked me about my boobies, I laughed so hard I ended up crying

What most people don’t realize or see is the hidden psychological scars that remain long after the surgeries and treatment are done.

It was my encounter with survivors that opened my eyes and made me realize I had been blessed with an abundance of fruit and it would be selfish not to share with all. I had the ability to share my story, adversity and help other parents talk to their kids about Cancer, so in May 2014, I self-published, Mommy R Your boobies Broken? Breast Cancer through the eyes of a 3-year-old.   

My hope is that, by sharing my story, I will inspire women faced with breast cancer and everyone else who is dealt a rotten bag of lemons.  You can and will make lemonade. It’s what you do with it that allows you humbly live your life by helping others.